How I’m Feeling Lately
Hi everyone. It’s been a minute since I’ve used my blog and as I always say in every “revisiting” post, I’ve missed it. There used to be such a therapeutic feeling to sitting down and writing out a post. Not every single one was incredibly thought out but that was almost the beauty in it. Things took time then. I’d take photos on a camera in the morning. Edit them in the evening and write over a few days. The idea of content was slower and more disciplined. I’ve been feeling a bit of burnout from the internet these days. There’s always something new and distracting that makes the internet and apps feel so much more of a competition than a shared space.
As someone who is also now 31 years old and has been a part of the internet from the LiveJournal and Xanga days, I feel like I’m constantly in a race to keep up. It got me thinking though. Why am I trying to keep up? While I know this has become my career and there are reasons to know what’s going on in the industry there is good reason to take a step back and rethink what I’m wanting to share in this space. Fashion and styling will always be at the forefront as well as building connections for me. My little slice of the internet has felt a little invaded. I’m transported back to high school where my sanctuary of space has been taken over and is so saturated that it’s time for me to move on to what’s next.
That being said, I really don’t want to leave this space. It’s been my home and my escape in many ways. I’ve met so many people here who I’ve learned from and who inspire me. I also feel I’ve done my fair share of the same for others. I guess what I want to focus on is the art of sharing again. I love styling and creating content but I punish myself for the amount I produce sometimes. I rush to push things out because I fear being left even further behind on an app that I already struggled to be seen on. Things are so out of our control now that I feel the community I’ve garnered is being taken away unless I conform to what sells. That’s never been who I am. I never expected this to be a career but a place where us like-minded internet folk could connect on similar interests. But unfortunately, capitalism wins yet again.
I catch myself sounding and feeling bitter in many ways. But I know that at the end of the day we all are on different journeys and when things start losing purpose I think it’s only natural that you need to take a secondary look at what you are doing. I’m not sure what this holds for me in the future but I think I’ll be taking this time to really think about what I want for myself in the future. I know a lot of fellow creators have felt this way and I find a bit of sadness and solace in knowing we can all relate in one way or another.
